closure · fearless · power · silence · truth

Those that Talk….Those That Listen….

img_3728-1My Spin:
I use to fear others opinions. I use to coward at decisions. I feared losing my happily ever after. Now only 28 years old  I have lost fear for losing anyone that gets in my way. My family. My priorities. Your loss. Lack of reality is always comforting to young babes. 💪🏽 You should of taken me seriously when you filled my head with bullshit….brah! 😂 I have learned to listen better. I am the only person that got in my way. It was no one else. I didn’t listen well enough to learn about the situation at hand. It might be the millennial in me that is always jib jabbing about my newest finds with no regards to hiding my life for some sense of endearment or privacy. The beauty of technology is we don’t have to hide in the dark when its so easy to share secrets of life in the light. After all we don’t get out of this short life alive….so dammit live a little you oldie! 😉 RIP Chris Cornell! 😦 I have enjoyed your talents for many many years and you touched my heart with your lyrics during keys moments of struggle and growth!

The Truths at Hand:
Think a minute of those you count to be the most powerful influences in your life. Who do you pay the closest attention to? We don’t melt for those that talk…we melt for those that embrace the power of silence. We are as attracted to them as a gnat  entranced by the blue light. I am gaining less fear of silence. Each chapter in my life I have embraced a new found growth that is now a habit. I must continue to embrace, dig in and grow more roots. It isn’t the branches that give others shade. It is the roots that sprout and become one with the wind to provide relaxation for the most tired of souls.
Silence is raw and you grasp so much approval when you speak less that is if you want just anyone’s approval. It can be used as shelter for those in need or for those devious ways. No matter the purpose whomever listens the most is ultimately the one in control. There isn’t always justice in listening or growth but it is an absolute face proven in many written history books.

Look in the mirror and remind yourself RIGHT NOW:
“I’m basking in my losses even when the scabs reopen to begin the healing again….it consistently drives me to more depth in my lessons at hand. I break my cycles with the drive I was born with. I pick up the responsibility where everyone else lacks. My cold heart with callused spirit will find its way again to sprout past my roots and give life to others again.”
Now continue on your way while getting out of your own way. Sush your mouth when talking to others so you can learn how to grow again and provide unconditional shelter by just being. 😉

Song upon the repeat for your journey:


Love · Men · Strength · truth

Whoa Out Of Man Card…

Ready for another man bashing rant about how I can’t find a good man because they all are lying sack of DBags…. you found the wrong blog for that my darling.
I just want to know what happen to the man card and no that beard you grow and oil daily does NOT make you a man…attractive some of you but proof that you are a man I doubt it more than most of the time.
I couldnt even begin to bore you with the whole copy and paste of the urban dictionary definition of MAN CARDDDDD…. so here is the link for all you geeks like me that are curious to read or learn all the rules…

it was kind of a fun bucket list to forward to all of our men in this world que to the fact of the matter with dirty little secrets of the female world…we don’t want to enjoy cheesy love stories with you unless we get to hear you fuss and whine about it…well most of us at least.

We need a man with a man card. We need a man that will take charge and protect the family. We need a man so comfortable in his skin that he doesn’t bat an eye when challenged but laughs in the eye of danger. He respects those that get his attention because with his laser like focus on the success he is bestowing. We want a man that knows what he wants and doesn’t flex his endowment for just anyone or every girl that is subdued to this rarity of power expressed. He gets the right woman and stops at nothing to make sure she understands the team she is playing on to make sure she is up for the count. If she has the same focus and loyalty he has then he will protect her and be devoted to her no matter how reckless the waves are.  They take what they want and they don’t hold back for any fear that tries to get in their way. You either keep up or get out of the way it is as simple as that even though it hurts their feelings for a second it will never keep them back. These men have heard the haters and laugh. These men giggle under their breath when men waste their time worrying about others. They are not mindless. They are a man of their word. They do not lead others on. They admit when they are at fault. Again they get whatever they want…based on whatever THEY want. They invest into those around them and they build them up to grow and prosper.

Man. Card. Stop trying to prove you have one…and get one!

Women…stop “playing” hard to get and BE HARD TO GET!

Believe me boys there is also a woman card…that’s next blog 😉



fearless · Justice · parenting · truth

Dear Attorneys for the Father of my child,

Dear Attorneys and other guiding opinions from his fan club,

Al Pacino, Keanu Reeves, and Charlize Theron have nothing on the reality you gave me today and this past year. Thank you for being another person in this world to help my ex paint some picture of entrapment and crazy person that wants to steal all his money. $200 per month was exactly my goal when my child’s food, daycare, healthcare, needed home room and let’s not forget those diapers without considering the future school expenses are nearing $1000. Good thing I have no personal life so I’ll be able to save money at least one way. Thank you for exploiting one bad decision out of heartbreak that you consider resolution when it was actually only a bad decision after all the other naive decisions before giving your client the most unconditional gift a woman can give a man. Thank you for assisting the father of my child and all his poor inadequacies. He sure is a man that lacks many virtues but is such an exceptional student of your guidance. You gave him great advice that many others can also use to avoid duty, justice, and responsibility. I am well aware that all of us women that are crazy enough to make a child have it out for him. It’s amusing as a woman that incubated a child for 41 weeks, 24 hours of labor, now 1 year and a half of single motherhood from homeless to back on her feet is this crafty in her ways. Doesn’t every single mother sign up for ridicule, heartbreak, and betrayal from your clients. Aren’t they all just nasty woman in society? What a gift everyone in society gives to mothers….What a joy it is to have your guilt of picking such a delinquent father rubbed in your face with seeds of doubt he successfully planted in your reasoning. It’s ironic though how it takes two to make this beautiful child and still so easy for so many to believe I was just some young whore stealing money from a man who when we made our little blessing he was midbankruptcy and penny less and jobless yet it was entrapment deciding to make our child. I am a smart little girl aren’t I. I should probably stop posting things like I’m the millennial I am since that isn’t logical or saving face too right? What face do I have left to save with the poor mans life I destroyed by giving him a son? On the ending note your putting notion in for truly thank you from the bottom of my heart sincerely thank you for ignoring your logic and getting paid good money to defend your client in his ways. It’s cute how not one woman but now the second has always gotten away with such candid work. I’ll give my respect that is due after all lawyers are the men with the gold and the man with the gold always makes the rules. I’ll make sure I go after a lawyer next time with my entrapment skills. Cheers to all of the lawyers and my child’s fathers fan club. Keep to ignoring your logic it is much more friendly and better for your outlook on humanity.


Single Mom along with the other 80% of single moms that shares a child with someone who will never be there and will always leave their children to starve if they can because otherwise that would just be entrapment

closure · Love · truth

Dear Mr. False Soul Mate,

You reeled me in as you were on bended knee. You reeled me in with everything you claimed to feel.
The first eye contact, the first touch, the first hand held, the first kiss….So many moments so many butterflies and I remember them all as if they are still here in the room with me.
My life life turned upside down with the strike of the lightning you offered. You were my soul mate the man I should of waited to find. Any boyfriend before was just settlement until you came along and swept me off my feet.
I thought I was alone in the world until you introduced me the taste of true companionship.
You were my ying to my yang and the only song my heart sang.
Every move I made in my career had you in mind. Every boy that looked my way knew it was not them I seen.
Then you disappeared…the glimpse into my soul left me paralyzed with addiction to the high.
I thought maybe it was just the rush when two souls touch at the wrong time in life.
You were in a mess. I was in a mess.
After we got done digging our way out we would find each other in the end like that worn out Garth Brooks Trisha Yearwood montage…everything else disappeared when I seen me in your eyes.
Then you disappeared again. By this time I had dug myself out….where could you of gone?
I kept my promise….I left a man that never did anything wrong to me. Nothing wrong except lacked the ability to live up to the expectations you, my soul mate had set for him.
I was free and on my own waiting for you to dig your way out.
Push Pull Push Pull….I waited….I lived it up in the best way I knew how while I was drowning in anticipation for the love you always gave me.  I helped you with anything I could…I enjoyed you more broke without a job because we drove each other with motivation and rebuilding as a family. We mended each other’s frustration.
A roller coaster ride up and down round and round. This kind of soul mate roller coaster is a very old wooden coaster that everyone fears to ride… after all it is so fast and falling apart with every “Clear!”
You were my soulmate we could make any repairs together.
We were a power couple that is why everything was so strong and fast.
I began to question the words… that foundation yet you still got my seat belt to work again.
No one else could interfere with the hold you had.
One more ride and I will know…One more ride and I would find that there was never actually any hope.
I was just a passenger….and you were just a false soul mate.
Words out of this world…a back story that will always go unheard.