Anxiety · closure · Love · Positivity · power · Strength · Uncategorized

Be The Change; Be The Love

What can life’s let downs teach us? What is the major lesson they hold so tightly within themselves? Let downs can break your heart. Betrayal can tear your belief system apart. The ripple effect is usually hope broken, faith trampled on, any commitment is now feared. We grow more comforted by lack of empathy than actually absorbing the anxiety that is at hand. The empty dark emotional part of our soul that is just begging for attention. When ignored our mind translates our actions into a lonliness angst that haunts our every move. It is almost like a rain cloud that continues to pour the rain of tears that we fear the most. Snap out of it darling…here is the tough love at hand. It was also your fault. It is your fault that you faced something. You committed to something and it was a bad investment. Now it is your responsibility to face the fear of the next commitment and realize the anxiety you feel is so beautiful. The most amazing creations come out of darkness. Identify the depth and the unknown. Use your purpose. Use your story to pull you up. The next time you are let down it will not be unfamiliar. It will not be unknown. It will be more growth that you will embrace and use all the more. We are not rare breeds. Our stories are not made of rare principles. We have basic needs and when they are unmet you have two choices. You can be the change you want to see in your situation or you can live to pay the same letdown forward and bring someone else to your level of hurt because your misery needs company. The greatest advice that is lived is being the change. It is holding on to the hope you originally had and never giving up on it even when you have to love in silence. If you truly loved unconditionally you love even when you feel disapproval. You love through others naysayers and hatred. Fear and hope are equally powerful emotions that derive from your decisions. Choose wisely and ride the waves of time.


closure · fearless · power · silence · truth

Those that Talk….Those That Listen….

img_3728-1My Spin:
I use to fear others opinions. I use to coward at decisions. I feared losing my happily ever after. Now only 28 years old  I have lost fear for losing anyone that gets in my way. My family. My priorities. Your loss. Lack of reality is always comforting to young babes. 💪🏽 You should of taken me seriously when you filled my head with bullshit….brah! 😂 I have learned to listen better. I am the only person that got in my way. It was no one else. I didn’t listen well enough to learn about the situation at hand. It might be the millennial in me that is always jib jabbing about my newest finds with no regards to hiding my life for some sense of endearment or privacy. The beauty of technology is we don’t have to hide in the dark when its so easy to share secrets of life in the light. After all we don’t get out of this short life alive….so dammit live a little you oldie! 😉 RIP Chris Cornell! 😦 I have enjoyed your talents for many many years and you touched my heart with your lyrics during keys moments of struggle and growth!

The Truths at Hand:
Think a minute of those you count to be the most powerful influences in your life. Who do you pay the closest attention to? We don’t melt for those that talk…we melt for those that embrace the power of silence. We are as attracted to them as a gnat  entranced by the blue light. I am gaining less fear of silence. Each chapter in my life I have embraced a new found growth that is now a habit. I must continue to embrace, dig in and grow more roots. It isn’t the branches that give others shade. It is the roots that sprout and become one with the wind to provide relaxation for the most tired of souls.
Silence is raw and you grasp so much approval when you speak less that is if you want just anyone’s approval. It can be used as shelter for those in need or for those devious ways. No matter the purpose whomever listens the most is ultimately the one in control. There isn’t always justice in listening or growth but it is an absolute face proven in many written history books.

Look in the mirror and remind yourself RIGHT NOW:
“I’m basking in my losses even when the scabs reopen to begin the healing again….it consistently drives me to more depth in my lessons at hand. I break my cycles with the drive I was born with. I pick up the responsibility where everyone else lacks. My cold heart with callused spirit will find its way again to sprout past my roots and give life to others again.”
Now continue on your way while getting out of your own way. Sush your mouth when talking to others so you can learn how to grow again and provide unconditional shelter by just being. 😉

Song upon the repeat for your journey:


closure · Love · truth

Dear Mr. False Soul Mate,

You reeled me in as you were on bended knee. You reeled me in with everything you claimed to feel.
The first eye contact, the first touch, the first hand held, the first kiss….So many moments so many butterflies and I remember them all as if they are still here in the room with me.
My life life turned upside down with the strike of the lightning you offered. You were my soul mate the man I should of waited to find. Any boyfriend before was just settlement until you came along and swept me off my feet.
I thought I was alone in the world until you introduced me the taste of true companionship.
You were my ying to my yang and the only song my heart sang.
Every move I made in my career had you in mind. Every boy that looked my way knew it was not them I seen.
Then you disappeared…the glimpse into my soul left me paralyzed with addiction to the high.
I thought maybe it was just the rush when two souls touch at the wrong time in life.
You were in a mess. I was in a mess.
After we got done digging our way out we would find each other in the end like that worn out Garth Brooks Trisha Yearwood montage…everything else disappeared when I seen me in your eyes.
Then you disappeared again. By this time I had dug myself out….where could you of gone?
I kept my promise….I left a man that never did anything wrong to me. Nothing wrong except lacked the ability to live up to the expectations you, my soul mate had set for him.
I was free and on my own waiting for you to dig your way out.
Push Pull Push Pull….I waited….I lived it up in the best way I knew how while I was drowning in anticipation for the love you always gave me.  I helped you with anything I could…I enjoyed you more broke without a job because we drove each other with motivation and rebuilding as a family. We mended each other’s frustration.
A roller coaster ride up and down round and round. This kind of soul mate roller coaster is a very old wooden coaster that everyone fears to ride… after all it is so fast and falling apart with every “Clear!”
You were my soulmate we could make any repairs together.
We were a power couple that is why everything was so strong and fast.
I began to question the words… that foundation yet you still got my seat belt to work again.
No one else could interfere with the hold you had.
One more ride and I will know…One more ride and I would find that there was never actually any hope.
I was just a passenger….and you were just a false soul mate.
Words out of this world…a back story that will always go unheard.